Adults and Childhood Struggles with Autism or Asperger's Syndrome: Overcoming Perception and Prejudice

Autism and Asperger's Syndrome (AS), despite being on the autism spectrum, are often perceived uniquely from individual to individual. For many adults, childhood was a challenging period marked by perceptions and prejudices rather than the experience of being autistic.

The Struggles: Perception and Prejudice

For many individuals with autism, the primary struggles during childhood did not revolve around the challenges of being autistic, but rather with how others perceived and responded to them. Society's lack of understanding and the prejudices associated with autism could be more isolating than the symptoms of the condition itself.

Memory and Trauma

As 53-year-old Gen-Xer, I can vividly recall my elementary school days as if I were still 12 or 13 years old. My memory seems to simulate that era, a period frequently filled with struggles. Crucially, I choose to reside in this worldview, not as a fixed memory but as a growing perspective that allows me to move forward.

Exclusion from Group Activities

One of the most vivid memories from school was being excluded from group activities. I was perceived as a 'different' and 'nerdy' kid who couldn’t fit in. Concurrently, I was expected to mask certain behaviors, like eating habits (not talking while eating, keeping my mouth closed), punctuality in speech, and avoiding inappropriate comments. These expectations were difficult to meet and exacerbated my internal struggles.

Academic and Behavioral Challenges

My reluctance to engage in classroom interactions, disinterest in certain subjects, and physical or emotional disengagement from school activities led to academic frustrations. I found it challenging to understand 'discrete' language and often took things said about me literally, unable to discern sarcasm or nuance. This misunderstanding often resulted in upset and confusion, further isolating me from peers and teachers.

Professional Assessment

My school conducted several assessments, including WISC-R (Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children - Revised) and MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). Discussions about relationships and other questions perplexed me; as a 9-year-old fourth grader, I struggled to comprehend their relevance. Only recently did I learn that I was being evaluated for autism, which revealed a lot about my past.

Adaptation and Growth

Despite my challenges, I was fortunate to navigate various educational settings, transitioning between public and private schools. The move to middle school saw an escalation in the challenges, including bullying and physical altercations. Notably, teachers often loved me but struggled to balance their affection with my sometimes disruptive behavior.

Reflection and Awareness

These experiences formed the foundation of who I am today. The events from my childhood are not simply memories but are deeply ingrained in my identity. They helped me and continue to shape my approach to life, fostering a growth mindset that allows me to adapt and thrive.

Conclusion

While I do remember the struggles of my childhood, I have chosen to leave the negativity behind. Childhood experiences with autism and Asperger's syndrome have made me who I am today, and these experiences have contributed to my resilience and understanding of these conditions. It is important to remember that everyone's journey with autism is unique, and growth is possible even in the face of perceived adversity.