Is It Better to Be an Authoritarian, Permissive, or Helicopter Parent?

I say neither. It's better to just be yourself and avoid extremes. Your child is part of you, so you're uniquely positioned to guide them in the right direction. Here are some balanced parenting advice and philosophies that might help:

Understanding Nature and Nurture

Almost all scientists agree that a person's character is defined by their genes and experiences. You and your partner naturally influence your child's behavior and development in significant ways. Act as a team and model healthy relationships. Your kids will notice and understand what a healthy union looks like.

Steps to Raising Kind, Loving, Well-Rounded Children

Here are 12 steps to help guide your child towards being kind, loving, and well-rounded:

1. Emphasize Your Love Daily

Remind them daily or even multiple times a day that you love them more than anything. Express it clearly and out loud, regardless of your audience. Children often forget how much you love them, so this reinforcement is essential.

2. Boost Their Confidence and Self-Esteem

Always work to boost their confidence and self-esteem. Praise their efforts and achievements. Display their drawings and school projects in your home. Show that you are proud of them. Validate their emotions during their tweens, even if their behavior is troubling. They will outgrow this eventually.

3. Spend Quality Time Together

Make time for your child, even if it's just to do the dishes together. Show that you want to spend time with them. Whether it's a fun activity or household work, spending time together helps your child feel valued.

4. Offer Healthy Meals

Say hello to your child's hunger and show concern for their health. Encourage them to eat nutritious food to support their growing bodies and minds. As they get older, let them take on some responsibilities. Support them through their failures and help them learn from these experiences.

5. Believe and Trust Them

Believe your child, especially when they say they don't feel well. Avoid dismissing their feelings, even if they are not rational or expected. Older children need to know they can confide in you. They NEED to know that you will believe them.

6. Be Consistent in Love, Admiration, and Discipline

Stay consistent to avoid confusing your child. Let them know what you expect of them. If you change the rules frequently, it will only lead to frustration. The more consistent you are, the better they can adapt to your expectations.

7. Teach Them to Earn Whatever They Want

Do not buy your child everything they ask for, even if you can afford it. Make them earn rewards through chores or by reaching certain milestones. As they get older, teach them the value of effort and self-achievement. This helps prepare them for adult life.

8. Understand Their Emotional Development

Children misunderstand their emotions, but they are entitled to their feelings. Sometimes they will even be angry with you, and that's okay. They are learning to process their emotions. Remember that they don't mean the harmful things they say, especially during their emotional development.

9. Never Resort to Violence

No matter the situation, avoid physical punishment. Instead, use timeouts, extra chores, and other non-violent methods. Ensure that your child understands the consequences of their actions and learns to apologize.

10. Support Their Aspirations

Support your child's dreams and dreams without judgment. Attend their games, support their teams, and cheer for them. Let them know that they have your loyalty and that you will always be on their side.

11. Own Your Mistakes

Children often see only one side of their parents. Be honest about your mistakes and own them. Let them see that mistakes are part of life and how one reacts to them defines character. Show them it's alright to laugh at yourself sometimes.

12. Lead by Example

Your child learns from your behavior, just as you are teaching them about love, kindness, and responsibility. Show kindness in every aspect of your life. Kindness makes the world a better place, and your kind children are a testament to your good parenting.

While these steps are not a comprehensive parenting guide, they can be a useful starting point for raising happy, healthy, and well-rounded children.

Conclusion: Raising children is a challenging but rewarding journey. Remember, no parent is perfect, and every child is unique. These steps will guide you in the right direction, but remain flexible and adaptable to the needs of your child.