Becoming a Catholic Priest or Nun after Marriage and Parenting: A Comprehensive Guide

The journey to becoming a Catholic priest or nun can be quite complex, especially for those who have already been married and had children. This guide aims to clarify the various paths available within the broad structure of the Catholic Church.

Men Becoming Catholic Priests

There is no age or marriage restriction for men who wish to become Catholic priests. In fact, there have been instances where men as old as their sixties have been ordained after the death of their spouses and the upbringing of their children. The story of one man in his sixties is particularly noteworthy: after his wife passed away and his children were grown-up, he studied for the priesthood and was ordained. He conducted his first mass, but passed away the next day due to a heart attack. This example illustrates that the age and marital status do not bar a man from pursuing this vocation.

While the Latin Church, which is the largest rite within the Catholic Church, requires clerical celibacy, other churches within the Catholic Communion do not have this restriction. In my parish, we have three priests who, after being married and having children, transitioned into priestly life and continue to be married.

Many priests who are married in the Latin Rite come through the Anglican Ordinariate route, or they were born into the faith and later had their marriage annulled. Another scenario involves a widower who could eventually enter the priesthood. Each case is unique and subject to individual circumstances and guidance.

The Case of Elizabeth Ann Bailey Seaton

A famous example of a woman who pursued religious life after marriage is Elizabeth Ann Bailey Seaton. She was a married mother of a sixteen-year-old son at the time of her entrance into religious life. Her son refused to let her join the convent, expressing that he did not want to do more than wave goodbye to his mother. However, her husband had passed away, and her children were able to care for themselves, making it possible for her to renounce her worldly life and embrace religious life.

The decision to become a nun is often more straightforward for widows. A divorced woman cannot become a nun, but a widow who has all her children grown-up can. This flexibility in religious orders allows for a range of life experiences and personal circumstances to be taken into account.

The Complexity of the Catholic Church

The Catholic Church is made up of various rites and churches, each with its own set of rules and traditions. The Latin Rite is the most common, but there are others that do not insist on clerical celibacy for priests. Therefore, a married man can still be ordained if he is a member of a church outside the Latin Rite. Given that the Catholic Church teaches against contraception, it makes more sense that a married man who desires to serve as a priest would have already had children.

However, it is important to note that once ordained, a priest must remain celibate and is not allowed to marry. This rule is applied uniformly across the Catholic Church, regardless of the specific rite or order to which a priest belongs.

In summary, the Catholic Church does offer paths for both men and women to enter religious life, even after they have been married and had children. The flexibility within the various churches and circumstances allows for a broad range of vocation journeys. The important criteria are the willingness of the individual to dedicate their life to God and adherence to the specific rules of the church they choose to join.