Breaking the Cycle: A 12-Year-Old's Guide to Seeking Help from Abuse

Dealing with abuse is never easy, especially when it comes from someone you trust most—your mother. If you are a 12-year-old girl experiencing verbal and emotional abuse from your mother, know that you are not alone, and there is hope for a better future.

Understanding the Dynamics of Abuse

It is crucial to recognize the signs of abuse and understand that while your mother may dismiss your feelings or ignore your complaints, it is vital to seek help. According to the American Psychological Association, narcissistic and abusive behavior often stem from a lack of empathy and a focus on one's own needs. If your mother's behavior aligns with these traits, consider seeking support from other family members or trusted adults.

The Importance of Communication

One of the most effective methods to handle the situation is through open and honest communication. Try to approach your mother when she is calm and not distracted by her own problems. Here’s a suggested way to communicate your feelings:

I am 12 years old and no longer a child. I deserve to be heard and have my concerns addressed. Can we talk about what I have been experiencing? I need your understanding and support.

Sharing your feelings openly can help break the cycle of silence and possibly initiate a positive dialogue with your mother.

Seeking External Help

When direct communication with your mother seems ineffective or detrimental, it is important to seek help from external sources. Here are a few options to consider:

1. School Advisor

Speak to a school counselor or advisor. They can provide guidance and information on resources available in your area. They can also offer a safe space to discuss your concerns without fear of judgment.

2. Children’s Protective Services

If the situation is severe, consider calling children’s protective services. You can make a call anonymously by putting 69 before your phone number. This agency can investigate the situation and provide necessary support and intervention.

3. Trusted Family Members

Sometimes, it can be beneficial to speak to a trusted family member such as a grandparent or aunts and uncles. They can provide emotional support and potentially offer a new living arrangement if staying with your mother is not safe.

Understanding Your Role in the Family

It is essential to understand that even at 12 years old, you hold a significant role in your family. While your mother may be the primary caregiver, sharing responsibilities and being a giver can help alleviate some of her stress and potentially foster a healthier relationship. Consider these questions:

Does your mother help you with anything? Do you help her out without being asked? Do you understand the cost of basic necessities like food, rent, and utilities? Are you a giver or a taker in the household?

Taking on more responsibility can not only improve your relationship with your mother but also make her life easier. However, if you feel that you cannot manage on your own or that the abuse is extreme, prioritize your own safety and happiness.

Conclusion

As a 12-year-old, you have the potential to navigate challenging situations with intelligence and empathy. Remember, seeking help is a strength, not a weakness. By taking the necessary steps to address the abuse, you can break the cycle and pave the way for a happier and healthier future.

Keywords: child abuse, verbal abuse, seeking help, family support, school resources