Dealing with Exam Grades: Reflections and Lessons Learned

Feeling when a friend scores top marks while you only achieve passing marks can be a mix of emotions. It’s a situation that many students face, and it can evoke a range of feelings from pride to inadequacy, envy, and motivation. This article aims to explore these feelings, offer suggestions for coping, and share personal experiences that can be valuable in navigating such situations.

The Diverse Mix of Emotions

When your friend scores top marks, while you only achieve passing marks, you might experience a variety of emotions:

Pride

It is natural to feel proud of your friend's accomplishments and genuinely happy for their success. These positive feelings can serve as a reminder of the achievements and aspirations of others, which can be inspiring.

Inadequacy

Feeling a sense of inadequacy or disappointment in your own performance is also common, especially if you had set high expectations for yourself. It’s important to recognize that everyone’s journey is unique and that sometimes our performance may not align with our goals.

Comparison

Comparing yourself to your friend’s scores can lead to feelings of envy or self-doubt. It’s crucial to avoid falling into the trap of constant comparison, as this can negatively impact your self-esteem and motivation.

Motivation

Situations like these can be a powerful motivator to improve yourself. You might feel inspired to study harder and aim for better results in the future. Setting realistic goals and working towards them can be a positive step forward.

Support

Another important aspect is to offer support and celebrate each other’s achievements. By lifting each other up, you can shift focus away from your own feelings of disappointment and create a more positive atmosphere.

A Personal Experience

I experienced a situation where a girl I used to be attracted to, who turned out to be in a relationship, topped the exam while I received a U grade (Undergrade). This leveled the playing field to a certain extent, as now we were both in the same position of striving for better grades.

The choice is yours:

Feel resentful and blame yourself or others. Take responsibility and channel your emotions into action.

Whenever I felt envious, my inner voice would remind me:

Then I got a B grade. My teacher told me that she wasn't worried about me and knew that I had the potential for A grades. However, some people take longer to learn certain techniques, and in my case, it was much later than others. This isn't to say that I'm terrible in any way; it simply means that right now, I don't know how to get the grade. Nonetheless, I am not heavily concerned with grades but getting high ones for the enjoyment of it. In any case, it's your choice how you feel and react. Feel sorry for yourself, or do something about it.

I remember my teacher assuring me that she wasn't worried about me and knew I had the potential for A grades. She pointed out that some students take longer to learn certain techniques, and in my case, it was much later than others. This realization helped me to understand that everyone's academic journey is different and that sometimes, it just takes a bit more time and effort.

It's important to recognize that you have a choice in how you feel and what actions you take. You can continue to feel sorry for yourself, or you can take responsibility for your actions and work towards improving your results. If you still fail, it’s fine; at least to yourself, you know you tried your hardest.

While it’s true that my friend took fewer classes than me, I didn't want to use that as an excuse. Even with one extra class, I would only be one grade behind, and I believed I could make up that grade in time.

Conclusion

Dealing with exam grades can be challenging, but it's an opportunity for personal growth and self-improvement. Acknowledge and process your emotions, take responsibility for your actions, and focus on what you can control. Remember that every academic path is unique and that sometimes, it just takes time and effort to reach your desired results. Channel your emotions into motivated action, and you could turn a challenging situation into a valuable learning experience.