Dealing with Parental Expectations: Striking a Balance in Higher Education

Securing a high percentile in your board examinations is an achievement that should be celebrated. It reflects the hard work, dedication, and resilience you have demonstrated throughout your academic journey. However, sometimes the reality can be tougher to handle, especially when faced with parental expectations that have high standards. This is a common experience, and it's important to understand and manage these feelings.

Parenthood and Paternalism

It's natural for parents to want the best for their children. They often set benchmarks based on their aspirations, their own experiences, and societal standards. In your case, your mother seems to be someone who emphasizes the gap between what you achieved (85 percentile) and what you could have achieved (90 percentile) if you had not made mistakes. While her comments might be well-intentioned, they can sometimes feel like additional pressure that doesn’t align with your own perceptions of your performance.

It's essential to recognize that your mother is merely trying to guide you and motivate you. She is providing a perspective that might not be as forgiving as your own, but ultimately, she is still proud of your achievements, even if she expresses it in a way that highlights the potential.

Acknowledging Efforts and Moving Forward

Your hard work and determination paid off. You secured a percentile that reflects your best performance, and you deserve congratulations for that. It's crucial not to let her comments affect your self-esteem or motivation. Your academic achievements are valid, and you should take pride in them.

Life is full of ups and downs. While your mother’s comments might feel uncomfortable in the moment, it's likely that she will become less vocal about it over time. You won't be dwelling on your percentage score in a few days or weeks. Instead, focus on the future and the opportunities that lie ahead.

Focusing on College Admissions

Many colleges have their own entrance examinations, which can significantly impact your future academic path. Preparing well for these exams is crucial. Here are some steps to consider:

Research Thoroughly: Understand the requirements, the nature of the exams, and the institutions you are interested in. Attend open house events, read about the curriculum, and gather as much information as possible. Develop a Study Plan: Create a structured study plan that allocates time for each subject and type of question. Break down large topics into smaller, manageable sections and set achievable goals for each study session. Practice with Mock Tests: Participate in mock tests and admission preparation programs to get a feel for the types of questions you will encounter. This will help reduce anxiety and improve your problem-solving skills. Stay Motivated: Maintain a positive mindset and remember why you started your preparation. Keep your ultimate goals in mind, and remind yourself of the rewards of your hard work.

Communicating with Your Parents

If you find it difficult to discuss these feelings with your parents, it can be helpful to have an open and honest conversation. Here are some tips on how to communicate:

Choose the Right Time and Place: Find a quiet moment when both you and your parent are relaxed. Avoid confrontational or busy times. Express Your Feelings: Share your thoughts and feelings about their comments. Explain how their words sometimes affect you and why it is important for them to demonstrate confidence in your abilities. Seek Reassurance: Ask for support and understanding. Let them know that you will try to manage their comments and focus on your goals.

Remember, this phase of life is temporary. Your parents' expectations are rooted in their love and desire for the best for you. Over time, they will come to understand and support your choices and decisions.

Wishing you success in your academic and personal journey. Stay motivated, stay focused, and continue to strive for excellence. You have the potential to achieve great things!