Reflections on Parental Expectations

Every individual's journey through life is unique and often influenced by the expectations placed upon them by their family and community. Growing up, there is a common narrative that shapes the expectations of children, and in my case, it included aspirations of being a certain type of woman. My parents envisioned me as a degree holder, cis-het, with at least two children and a wealthy husband. However, my story unfolded differently, leading to a deeper understanding of what being authentic means to me.

Trapped in Preconceived Paths

From a young age, my life was meticulously planned by my parents. Whenever I had to make a decision, I often felt lost and clueless. The lack of orientation programs at my school made it even more challenging to chart a course for my future. My mother's unwavering belief that she knew me better than anyone else often led to her vetoing my choices and discouraging me from pursuing them. Despite her intentions, her persistent insistence only made it harder for me to find my own path. At 21 years old, I still face similar challenges in standing up for myself.

Embracing Independence

Thankfully, my parents ultimately respected that I was an autonomous individual, capable of making my own decisions about my life. They encouraged me to believe in myself and to define my own future based on what I truly wanted to achieve. This shift towards independence was a significant turning point for me. I wasn't expected to attend church or be tied to organized religion, though my father's early interest in spirituality fostered a sense of wonder and curiosity within me.

Protecting and Nurturing

While my parents protected me from potential dangers and hurt, I often struggled to heed their advice. Instead of passive guidance, I took a more active approach to understanding my surroundings and the world. I developed into a peace-loving, tree-hugging hippie with a gypsy soul. This path is deeply passionate, and through travel and exploration, I gained a broad perspective on life that my parents couldn't have anticipated.

Connection and Acceptance

Despite our differences, there is a strong bond between my parents and me. We have meaningful philosophical conversations, with my father often seeking truth and my mother offering comfort and support. We share conversations about our family, the world, and our differing views on life. Our relationship is one of mutual understanding and respect, even when we might disagree on certain points. These conversations bring us closer, fostering a connection that transcends simple familial bonds.

Personal Growth and Satisfaction

While I may not have achieved all that my parents envisioned, I have certainly grown into a more confident and self-actualized person. I've navigated through many challenges and emerged stronger and more certain of my choices. I take pride in being true to myself, and I am content with the life I have created. My parents have never expected more than acceptance and authenticity from me. Their unwavering support, coupled with my own journey of self-discovery, has allowed me to thrive in my own way.