Healing from Emotional Abuse: Breaking Free from Toxic Narratives
Emotional abuse from parents during childhood can leave a lasting impact, fostering a feeling that something is fundamentally wrong with you. However, it is important to understand and embrace that the victim, you, is never at fault.
Understanding and Acceptance
Internalized negative thoughts and feelings are not a reflection of your worth. Recognize that you are not to blame for the harmful actions of your parents. They injected these bad beliefs and emotions, but you do not have to accept them as truth. Those who criticize you and put you down are individuals with their own shortcomings and do not diminish your inherent value. Do not internalize their words; use self-preservation as a shield. Learn to answer their questions with politeness and maintain your composure. If abuse begins, remain calm and look at them with a blank expression. If possible, remove yourself from the situation. At 18, you have the freedom to seek refuge elsewhere.
Counseling and Support
Seeking professional help can be a significant step in your healing journey. Consult with a clergy member or a licensed professional counselor who you trust and can openly discuss your feelings. Talking about your experiences with a neutral person can be cathartic and provide relief. Keeping emotions bottled up can be detrimental to mental health, so seek to unburden yourself. Additionally, engaging in various activities and hobbies can help keep your mind occupied and shift your focus away from negative thoughts.
External Perspective and Role Models
People who experience emotional abuse often carry the burden of these experiences inward. It is crucial to realize that there is nothing inherently wrong with you but with how you were treated. Good individuals can and do face emotional challenges and treat others unfairly sometimes. Parents' emotional states, driven by stress, mental overload, or lack of anger management, can contribute to their abusive behavior. Furthermore, familial patterns of such behavior might have been established early on.
To counter these negative influences, surround yourself with people who appreciate and value you. Avoid those who belittle and demean you. Parents sometimes struggle with understanding their children and may feel they have no other options but to lash out or medicate them. Both choices are unsatisfactory.
It is common for many to reflect on their childhood and express feelings of not being as they wished to be. Yet, this disarray is not the fault of the child but a result of toxic family dynamics and parenting choices.
Embrace self-acceptance, seek support, and focus on building a life that is rich in positivity and appreciation. Healing is a process, and each step forward is a testament to your strength and resilience.