How Bereavement Affects a Child's Behavior: Navigating Grief and Resilience

Bereavement, whether it’s a miscarriage, the death of a parent, or the loss of a loved one, can have a profound impact on a child’s behavior and emotional well-being. Understanding the nuances of child grief is crucial for parents, guardians, and caregivers. In this article, we explore the ways in which bereavement affects children, the importance of recognizing emotional responses, and the steps that can be taken to support them.

The Impact of Bereavement on Children

Bereavement can be a life-altering experience for children, especially when it involves the loss of a parent or a sibling. Kimberly, a parent who experienced a miscarriage, shares her journey as she navigated the grief with her young daughters. 'I was in my second trimester and had already told them about the baby. The miscarriage came as a profound shock, and my children were deeply affected. Despite the initial shock, their behavior gradually normalized, but it was a challenging and emotional period for all of us.

It is important to note that all children are different, and their reactions to bereavement can vary widely. Some children may seem resilient and quickly return to their normal routines, while others may struggle with grief for an extended period. As a parent, it can be difficult to anticipate your child's emotional journey, but one thing is clear: children need a safe and supportive environment to express their feelings.

Resilience vs. Absorbency

The concept of resilience is often used to describe children's ability to bounce back from adversity. However, this can sometimes be misunderstood. While it is true that children may switch from sadness to playfulness within moments, this does not mean they are resilient in the same way as adults. In reality, children are absorbent. They internalize their experiences and may carry the emotional burden beneath the surface, which can lead to difficulties later in life if not properly addressed.

Kimberly's experience illustrates this point. She found comfort in reading Heaven is for Real to her children and bringing them to the burial, as it allowed them to process their grief in a natural and supportive environment.

Long-term Effects of Bereavement

Bereavement can have long-lasting effects on children, particularly when it involves the loss of a parent or a caregiver. For instance, a child who loses their dad in a car accident may experience a significant shift in their sense of security. They may no longer feel that the world is a safe place and that the adults who care for them have everything under control. This loss can lead to the development of various disorders, such as PTSD, OCD, or other anxiety-related conditions.

Untreated grief can manifest in adolescence, leading to a higher risk of developing issues such as depression, anxiety, self-harm, substance abuse, or eating disorders. Childhood trauma, particularly if not properly addressed, can contribute to the development of hoarding disorder in adulthood, as researchers have found a link between traumatic loss in childhood and hoarding behavior.

Seeking Professional Support

Recognizing the signs of emotional distress in children who have experienced significant bereavement is crucial. If a child shows signs of any of these conditions, it is important to seek help early. While general counselors can provide support, it is often beneficial to find a specialist who has expertise in treating specific disorders or who specializes in trauma work. It is essential to choose a counselor who is willing and able to work with the family as a whole, not just the child individually.

Access to quality professional help can make a significant difference in the child's emotional well-being. While finding the right professional may require perseverance, it is a crucial step in supporting the child through their grief journey.

Conclusion: Supporting Bereaved Children

To parents, guardians, and caregivers of bereaved children, you are not alone in this difficult journey. Navigating the emotional landscape of grief can be challenging, but with the right support and resources, you can help your child process their emotions and navigate their way forward.

Good luck and hang in there. Your child's resilience and ability to grow from this experience is a testament to their strength, and with proper support, they can emerge from this experience with a more profound understanding of themselves and the world around them.