Insightful Advice from the Unpredictable Wisdom of Mom

Reflecting on the mother we grew up with can often yield some surprising and thought-provoking insights. My mother, hailing from an upscale, prim and proper family born in the 1920s, had a distinct way of imparting wisdom. Her advice, though disparate and sometimes unconventional, has significantly shaped my life in ways I never anticipated.

The Flower of Wisdom: A Selection of Mom's Unexpected Counsel

Advice from the Prime of Life: Marrying a Policeman

From an age when I was 18, my mother offered me a surprising piece of advice—marry a policeman. To be clear, this advice was delivered in a moment of playful drunken talk over some cream sherry, veering off into a whimsical tangent. She argued about the comedic stereotypes of policemen, praising their loyalty, respect, and heroic feats. At the time, I was more amused than alarmed but ultimately dismissed her advice. Little did I know that my life’s path had been subtly influenced by this quirky wisdom.

Arranged Dates and Hidden Honeys: The Harried Parent's Approach

One of my siblings struggled with the parent's traditional approach to marriage, but my case was different. My mom had a tendency toadies, arranging dates with various young women in the town, essentially matchmaking the last born—all in the hopes of speeding up the marriage process. However, I, a rebellious soul, managed to avoid these matchmaking schemes. I found my own path, intellectually and heartily, by spending additional years in education rather than following my mother's well-meaning yet prescriptive advice.

Traditionalism in a Modern Age: Pants and Lard

My mother was also quite traditional in her views, especially about fashion. She once advised me not to wear pants, telling me that only men should wear them. Despite her elderly perspective, I still remember questioning and rejecting this advice. However, her enduring wisdom lies in another surprising tip—use lard instead of motor oil on your hair. It's a testament to her resourcefulness and the lasting impact of her advice. Six decades later, I still use lard in my hair routine, much to my own amazement.

Don't Marry for Money: A Timeless Piece of Advice

Apart from my mother, she also shared some significant advice with my sister. My grandfather offered a substantial sum of money to my sister's boyfriend as a condition for marriage before the arrival of a baby. When my sister sought advice through our mother, she received a wise and clear response. My mother advised, "Do not get married if it isn't what you want. Marriage is hard to undo and divorces are expensive." This advice was timeless and set a strong foundation for her daughter's relationship aspirations.

Through these anecdotes, we can see the blend of old-world wisdom and modern insights that shaped my life. My mother's advice, though unconventional and unexpected, has proven to be more valuable than she knew. It reminds us that sometimes the most unexpected pieces of advice can leave the deepest and most profound impacts.