Is Marriage in Your Future? Advice for Late Teens and Early 20s Couples
Marriage is a commitment that many people enter into as they grow older, having achieved certain milestones in life. However, young adults in their late teens and early twenties often face a dilemma: should they rush into marriage or wait until later in life? This article offers insights and advice for couples in this age group who are considering marriage.
Understanding the Risks
Why You Shouldn't Marry Too Soon
Statistics show that 50% of marriages fail, with a staggering 83% of these failures occurring in mixed marriages (where partners come from different cultural or religious backgrounds). For male couples, the financial risk is significant. If you plan to have children, you run the risk of paying support that you may not be able to afford, especially if you are not financially stable. Female couples face a different but equally challenging situation, where the children could make starting a new relationship much more difficult, and you may have to depend on support from friends and extended family for child care.
The Long-Term Consequences
Marriage at a young age can have long-term consequences. Children can be a barrier to starting a new relationship, and it's not uncommon for grandkids to forget about their grandparents, especially if their parents see them rarely. This often leads to a sense of isolation and loneliness for these older partners. It's not a situation that is worth rushing into.
Building a Strong Foundation
Consider Living Together
It's often wise for couples in their late teens and early twenties to live together before committing to marriage. This allows you to see if the relationship can stand the test of time without the pressures of financial responsibilities or parenting. Living together also allows you to build a stronger foundation for your relationship and to get to know each other in different situations.
Financial Considerations
Financial stability is crucial before you consider marriage. Ideally, you should wait until your mid-twenties or later to get married. Before you decide to get married, make sure you have a good education and are secure in a good job. If you plan to have children, start building a financial cushion as early as possible. Ensuring that you have a good income, maybe even a down payment on a house, can provide a financial buffer.
Evaluate Your Relationship
Are you both truly in love? Have you been together for years with no one else in your lives? Can you look to support someone who has failed you in the past? Can you love their quirky behaviors and annoyances without attaching a scorecard to your relationship? Ultimately, you should only get married if you are committed to each other and ready to support one another through the ups and downs of life.
Questions to Ask Yourself
Are you ready to put this other person's needs ahead of your own? Are you ready to share your most intimate thoughts with this other person? Can you be ready to give to this person not only your time but your energy, best ideas, deepest emotions? Is this person the first person you want to see in the morning and the last person you want to see at night? Is the sex great, and can it remain great as time goes on?The Importance of Communication and Friendship
Passion and impulsiveness can make a relationship exciting, but true love and friendship last forever. Communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. Without it, the relationship may deteriorate over time. Remember that while the most intimate moments may be the strongest bond, true love and friendship will sustain the relationship through the years.
Final Thoughts
For couples in their late teens and early twenties, it's important to take the time to build a strong foundation and ensure that you are ready for the commitment of marriage. It's not a decision to be made lightly, and rushing into marriage can have lasting consequences. If you have doubts, consider living together or waiting until you are more financially stable and ready to commit.