Managing a Mother with Dementia Who Refuses to Accept It
Living with a parent who has dementia, especially when they refuse to acknowledge they have the condition, can be a challenging experience. Each person's journey with dementia is unique, and finding the right approach can seem daunting. However, by focusing on your own well-being and taking strategic approaches, you can manage the situation more effectively.
Understanding the Journey
Alzheimer's Disease is a specific form of dementia that affects millions of individuals. Despite advanced diagnostics, some individuals with dementia might not be aware of their condition. This can make managing their care more complex. Acceptance is fleeting, if it happens at all, making it crucial to prioritize your own well-being.
How to Handle the Situation
1. Focus on Your Own Well-being
One essential piece of advice is to handle yourself first. Be the person you want to be - 1 loving, 2 kind, 3 gentle, 4 patient, and 5 strong. By focusing on your own actions and reactions, you can avoid trying to control your mother or make her accept her diagnosis.
2. Use Distractions and Positivity
Distractions can be powerful tools in de-escalating situations. Singing a favorite song or participating in a familiar hobby can help shift the focus away from the frustration and towards something they enjoy. Using positive reinforcement can also encourage good behavior. Reward what you do like, and ignore what you don’t.
3. Be Thoughtful and Supportive in Communication
Avoid forcing your mother to acknowledge her illness. Instead, make supportive comments about what you observe. Instead of directly confronting her, ask questions that indirectly acknowledge the issue. For example, “What do you think made you forget that?” Encourage cooperation and support, but do not force acceptance.
4. Ensure Safety
Safe living arrangements are crucial when caring for a parent with dementia. Check for potential hazards in the home, ensure all appliances are off, and that doors and windows are secure. If your mother is a sole resident, ask reliable individuals to visit regularly.
Escort her on all outings, even to a nearby location, to prevent any adversity. My mother could solo walk the dog until a few months before her death, but it was due to familiarity and age. It significantly reduced her risk of wandering.
5. Maintain a Positive Outlook
Be positive around your mother. Encourage her to drink water, as her need for food and thirst might not be as apparent as in other individuals. Help her with tasks like using the bathroom to prevent accidents, and encourage her to recall her achievements and the love she has given.
Use subtle methods to remind her of important tasks without causing distress. For example, if she is likely to forget to eat, serve minute amounts in tiny dishes to stimulate her appetite.
6. Stay Informed and Involved
Research as much as possible to understand the illness and the best ways to help. Stay informed about respite care and day center programs that can provide her with safe enjoyment and allow you to have periods of rest.
Conclusion
Managing a mother with dementia who refuses to acknowledge it is a delicate and challenging task. By focusing on your well-being and using strategies that support both you and your mother, you can navigate this difficult period with grace and compassion. Remember, each person's journey with dementia is unique, and what works for one individual might not work for another. Stay positive, be patient, and take care of yourself in the process.