How can one accurately describe their high school experience? Was I popular? The answer is a bit more nuanced than a simple yes or no. Let me share my story and the lessons I learned.
Background and Early Years
I attended an all-boys grammar school, a highly selective institution where academic prowess was the norm. Even the least academically inclined wore five O'levels, a figure significantly higher than the national average of less than one. Our school, however, deemed five CSE grade 3s, roughly equivalent to a C, as abysmal. My family struggled financially, and I lacked a car. My uniform was nothing like the standard suit, simply comprising trousers and a blazer. By my first year, I sorted out my PE kit from the lost property office. Despite this, my family life was complicated, and I often went unnoticed.
Discovering Dungeons and Dragons and Forming Lifelong Bonds
In the second term of first year, I discovered Dungeons and Dragons, creating a friendship group that I now maintain, 45 years later. One member even continues to game with me weekly, despite living in Canada. This niche interest helped me form deep connections, proving that high school friendships can last a lifetime.
From Nerd to Athlete and Martial Artist
Despite being in a school filled with "nerds," I also excelled in sports. I was the captain of the Rugby team and a founding member of the School Karate club. Additionally, I joined the school cadets and took charge of organizing physical training activities, like assault courses, which I thoroughly enjoyed. By the end of school, I had gained the reputation of an 'Equaliser,' especially through my involvement in Rugby, Karate, and a few parties where I had to intervene in minor conflicts.
The Art of 'Floating'
My high school was not about being popular; it was about being a 'floater.' I could easily engage with any group and fit in wherever I went. I played all sports, participated in Magic: The Gathering, and spent time gaming. One memorable encounter involved a bully who targeted the smallest of my group during a game of Magic. With my hands tied, I managed to take down the tallest of their group with a chokehold, a surprising and challenging gesture. Though the teacher didn't believe the bully, the experience reinforced that even bullies know when someone stands up for them.
No Bullies, No Worries?
I remember the time a bully and his friends approached us while playing Magic. I noticed they were targeting the smallest of my group and stood up, grabbing the largest of the bully's friends in a chokehold. I had to convey that I was young and dumb and that I would break his friend's neck if he didn't return my friend's counters. It worked, the bully apologized, and the incident ended without any repercussions. My friends and I shared a laugh, understanding that no one deserved to be targeted, and that intervention could stop bullying before it escalated.
Lessons Learned
My high school experience was a blend of academic and social challenges. While I may not have been the epitome of popularity, I formed meaningful friendships and built a reputation for standing up for what was right, even in the face of bullies. These lessons have stayed with me and continue to influence my interactions and my understanding of high school social dynamics.