Navigating Confirmation: A Guide for Teenagers

Every teenager faces unique challenges, especially when it comes to Catholic confirmation. Many schools, like the one I attended, offer automatic confirmation for students, often based on their age. However, not everyone is ready for this significant step. If you find yourself in a similar situation, where you are not sure about confirmation, you are not alone. Here’s a guide to help you through this process.

Why You Should Speak to the Priest

Your first step should be to confide in your priest. It’s important that you receive confirmation if you truly believe in the teachings of the Catholic Church. If you have doubts, your priest will understand and can help you explore them. Many priests have been through similar situations with other teenagers, so they are familiar with the struggles and concerns.

It’s crucial that confirmation is a personal decision. You should not feel pressured to confirm just to please your Nana, or even if she is pushing for it on your behalf. The decision to be confirmed should be yours, made after much consideration and personal reflection.

Reflect on Your Reasons

Before speaking to your parents, take some time to reflect on why you are not ready for confirmation. Try to base your reasons on logic, truth, and a clear conscience rather than just feelings. Here are some questions to help you:

Does the Church teach the truth? What does confirmation do? Have I been leading a life worthy of sainthood? Why or why not? What is my ultimate purpose in life? Is this an intellectually, logically, and spiritually satisfying goal?

These questions will help you clarify your thoughts and present a reasoned argument to both your parents and your priest.

Communicate Openly and Honestly

Tell your parents that you are not ready to make that commitment. If they press you, tell your priest that you do not want to be confirmed. It’s important to be open and honest about your feelings, but also to respect their concerns and your religious community.

Your decision should be made with a clear conscience and a respectful attitude towards your parents, teachers, and priest. Showing kindness and understanding will make the conversation smoother and more constructive.

Seek Professional Guidance

If after careful reflection and discussion with your priest, you still decide that you are not ready for confirmation, you may benefit from more in-depth guidance. Many teenagers find that talking to actual philosophers and priests at a different school can provide the guidance they need. This experience can help solidify your decision and give you a clearer path forward.

I remember feeling the same way at 13 when I was finishing up my CCD classes. I did not want to be pushed into anything I was not comfortable with. I wanted to become a member of the church with my whole heart and a clear conscience. I wrote a letter to my CCD leader outlining my concerns and apologizing in advance unless she could help me work through them.

Our monsignor instructed my mother to “keep me in CCD,” but that wasn’t sufficient for me. I needed more than just the assurance that I would continue attending classes. Without the necessary arguments and justifications, I failed to be confirmed with my classmates. It wasn’t until 20 years later that I was confirmed after receiving the proper guidance and counseling from philosophers and priests at a different school.

My advice is to be kind, clear, and open to discussions. If you decide that you are not ready for confirmation, be open to the gaps being met and don’t give in to pressure to lie about your feelings. That’s not good for you or anyone else.

Conclusion

Making the decision to be confirmed is a significant step in your faith journey. It’s important to weigh the reasons for and against and to make an informed decision. With the guidance of your priest and an open conversation with your parents, you can find the right path for yourself. Remember, your decision should be made with a clear conscience and a willingness to respect your community and your personal beliefs.