Navigating Grief: Living with the Love of a Departed One
Life continues even when the love of your life is no longer by your side. I personally experienced this not so long ago, about five months after losing my partner, with whom we shared a seven-year relationship. I felt more like a married couple than my ten-year-old union with my husband. While love still endures and always will, I want to share my experience and insights on how to navigate this challenging time.
Bereavement and the Healing Journey
Death is an aspect of life, and some choose to face it with grace and acceptance. In my case, it was not just a partner but the love of my life. Ten years after his passing, I am still in mourning, yet I still love him deeply. Every night before bed, I say 'Goodnight, my love' to the spirit that continues to reside within me. Rest in peace, my eternal companion.
The path to healing is filled with moments of grieve and remembrance. For instance, my best friend was passionate about cardinals. Seeing these birds triggers feelings of nostalgia and love. I inherited a coffee mug adorned with a cardinal from her son, a cherished reminder of her. These memories are more than just reminders; they are a bittersweet celebration of the love once shared.
Adjusting to Life Without Them
Losing a partner or spouse can be profoundly devastating, especially when that person has been a significant part of your life for more than half a decade. Life goes on, and though it may feel arduous, there is a method to the chaos. Embrace your love and sadness but also nurture your memories. When the time feels right, seek new companionship and happiness. It wasn't until I found comfort in sharing moments with my husband's memory that I began to heal.
The Mormon Perspective on Enduring Love
If you are a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon), there is a unique path to enduring love. You can be married again in the temple, even after the loss of a loved one. This view provides comfort for those who find it meaningful to forge a eternal bond, transcending physical death.
The Acceptance and Move Forward
To truly heal, it is essential to acknowledge that they are gone, move away from reminders, and focus on a brighter future. The pain and longing may never fully disappear, but over time, the ache diminishes. Embrace the period of healing, perhaps one to two years, dedicating this time to forging new connections and experiences. Gradually, the memories and the love they bring can turn from sorrow to fondness and joy.
While grief is an inevitable part of life, holding on to the past only perpetuates sadness. If there is indeed an afterlife, it is reasonable to believe that the loved one would want you to live a fulfilling life free from their absence. Love is about caring for another, and a person who truly loved you would hope for your happiness and well-being.
Lastly, it's crucial to support those around you who are also facing loss. Children, in particular, need guidance and comfort during these times. Assure them that it's okay to feel sad and that the holidays, such as Christmas, will be a mix of joy and sorrow. Encourage them to honor the memory of their loved one while also embracing the present and looking forward to a future filled with new blessings.