Navigating Normalcy: Adolescent Sexual Feelings in Preteens

As parents, caregivers, and educators, it's important to have a clear understanding of what is considered 'normal' when it comes to the sexual development of young children. This article aims to demystify and provide clarity around the feelings and experiences often associated with preteens.

Understanding Sexual Feelings in Preteens

It is completely natural and expected for preteens to start feeling sexual urges as they navigate their growing body and mind. The onset of puberty brings about a range of physical and emotional changes, and these can include the development of sexual attraction and arousal. Many children may experience these feelings as they begin to develop a sense of self and explore their identity.

Is It Really Okay to Feel This Way?

Yes, it is absolutely okay to experience sexual feelings as a preteen. Sexual attraction and arousal are natural and healthy parts of growing up. The body and mind are in a process of development, and these feelings are a natural manifestation of that growth. However, it is important to understand the appropriate context and behavior around these feelings.

What If I Feel Abnormal?

Feelings of loneliness, confusion, or discomfort can be common when dealing with new emotions. However, this is a part of the journey. It is crucial to emphasize that these feelings are neither abnormal nor unhealthy. Children should be encouraged to express their feelings and ask questions. Open communication can help alleviate any misunderstandings or fears they may have.

Safe Practices and Boundaries

While it is natural for preteens to experience sexual feelings, it is just as important to ensure they understand the appropriate boundaries and behaviors. Here are a few key points to discuss:

Self-touch: Explaining that it is okay to touch their own body and that it is a natural part of their development. Providing age-appropriate education on the importance of privacy and respect for personal boundaries. Privacy: Teaching them the importance of respecting their own and others' privacy. This means not sharing personal secrets or engaging in physical intimacy with others. Confidentiality: Emphasizing that if they feel confused or uncomfortable, they should seek guidance from a trusted adult, such as a parent, doctor, or counselor.

When Does 'Doing Something' Become a Concern for Preteens?

Engaging in sexual activities with another preteen is not advisable before reaching a stage of maturity that allows for a healthy and consensual relationship. It is crucial for preteens to understand that while it's okay to experience sexual feelings, these feelings should be managed with care and respect, both for themselves and for their peers.

Positive Role Models and Education

To best navigate these feelings, it is essential to provide positive role models and a comprehensive education about sexuality. This can include:

Books and Resources: Age-appropriate books and resources that address sexual development in a factual and non-judgmental way. The Planned Parenthood website offers excellent resources specifically designed for young people. Open Dialogue: Encouraging open and honest conversations about sexuality, not just when there are issues, but as part of regular family discussions. This helps to create a comfortable environment where children feel safe to share their feelings and ask questions. Support Networks: Connecting with local organizations that offer support and guidance for preteens and their families, such as school counselors or community health centers.

Conclusion

Sexual feelings are an inevitable part of growing up, and understanding them is a crucial step in promoting healthy development. It is important to provide young people with the knowledge and support they need to navigate these feelings in a safe and respectful manner. By fostering open communication and creating a supportive environment, we can help preteens feel empowered and confident as they grow and develop.