Navigating Toxic Friendships: When a Friend Wants to Reconnect
Is it healthy to keep toxic friends? This article helps you understand the benefits of unhealthily maintaining such friendships and provides guidance on how to handle a friend who wishes to reconnect when they've proven to be toxic.
Understanding the Harm of Toxic Friends
It's easy to feel like you're missing out when you see others engorge themselves with toxic friendships. But if you don't like having friends who are toxic, there's no reason to allow them in your life. Politely decline invitations for activities with such friends and don't return their calls or answer their messages. Let them know you are not interested in having those kinds of friends, and the issue will be resolved. After all, you deserve better than to be around people who bring you down.
Why Do You Want a TOXIC PERSON in Your Life?
If the concept of toxicity is confusing to you, it's because most people do not recognize the harm toxic people bring into their lives. Over time, toxic behavior can drain your emotional and mental health. When you were in a toxic friendship, it likely felt normal, but looking back, you will appreciate the realization that toxic relationships are a hindrance to your personal growth and well-being. Dumping such people from your life is the best decision you can make, even if it means facing a period of isolation.
Renewal of Friendship: Assessing the Situation
Is the person you're thinking of reconnecting with truly worth it? Reflect on why the friendship ended. Was it your fault? Was it mutual? Evaluate your role in the conflict and whether the reasons for the end of the friendship are valid. If the issue is with toxic behavior, it's best to stay away. Consider whether the person has changed, and if not, staying away from them is a healthier choice for both parties.
Reconnecting with Caution
If the person has been toxic in the past, it's best to avoid them. If they insist on reconnecting, politely refuse. Tell them that you don't enjoy spending time with them or that you are too busy to do so. If they still insist, refuse again. Clearly communicate that you value your peace of mind and emotional health over the friendship.
Ex-Friends: Difficult to Change
Every ex-friend is toxic or a narcissist, isn't it? It's an odd coincidence. When you're no longer friends with someone, consider the reasons for the end of the friendship. Try to be honest and evaluate your role in it. If a friend is toxic, they might be using manipulative tactics to try to get you back. Don't let them do that. They change when they realize the impact of their actions, not when they are begged to do so. Some toxic people may use excuses or claim that if you don't like their behavior, you can leave. However, those who stay may continue to behave similarly based on their own feelings on any given day.
Reflections from Personal Experience
Many individuals, including myself, have had to deal with toxic siblings or family members. For example, my older brother who was a toxic person always passed off his mean and hurtful comments as "joking or teasing." This behavior alienated many family and friends. My advice is to honestly tell the person why you are no longer friends with them. They may not change, but their reaction can show you their true nature. Be prepared to walk away if changes are not genuine, giving them the opportunity to change. Remember, you deserve to be respected and cherished by friends.
Choose your friendships wisely and always prioritize your well-being. A healthy friendship brings joy, support, and growth, not stress and negativity. Make choices that contribute positively to your life, and let go of those that do not.