Navigating the Coming Out Journey for FtM Transgender Youth
As an FtM (female-to-male) transgender individual, coming out to your parents can be one of the most daunting and life-changing experiences of your life. Here, we provide a comprehensive guide to help you navigate this journey with care and consideration.
Age and Timing
When considering coming out, it is crucial to assess your age and living situation. If you are still under your parents' care, it is advised not to reveal your transition to them until you can do so safely. This is because your parents, due to a lack of understanding and potential lack of supportive resources, can unintentionally do a lot of harm, either through harmful words or actions. If you are living independently, it may be safer to choose a place with a lot of people around, reducing the likelihood of isolated violence.
Understanding Personal Realization
Many FtM individuals realize their true identity at a young age, such as at ten or eleven. For others, this realization can come later in life. It is important to understand that a young person might interpret and misinterpret their feelings due to the natural hormonal and emotional changes that occur during puberty. It is imperative to avoid making significant life decisions before you have the necessary emotional and financial self-care abilities.
Your worthiness as a person is not diminished by being transgender. Puberty, especially, can bring a lot of confusion and hardship for young people. You are as perfect as you are; altering your body or mind to fit what you believe society expects of you does not necessarily make you a better person. Only when you are a self-providing adult who feels the same way, should you make such a life-altering decision.
Seeking Professional Help
The best advice is to seek help from a professional therapist. Engaging with a sympathetic and knowledgeable therapist can provide you with a valuable perspective and support as you navigate your journey. You can find resources and support through websites like Psychology Today. Having a therapist can help you understand your options and make informed decisions. Your parents do not need to know all the finer details; the therapist can help mediate and provide guidance.
Research and Data on Realization and Disclosure
A groundbreaking study titled “Age of Realization and Disclosure of Gender Identity Among Transgender Adults” has divided 27,715 transgender individuals in the United States into two groups based on when they realized their gender identity was different from their sex assigned at birth. The first group, 16,279 participants or 59.2% (labeled as the “childhood realization” group), came to understand at age 10 or younger. The second group, 11,218 or 40.8% (labeled as the “later realization” group), reported realization at age 11 or above. Over several years, participants typically elapsed between realizing their gender identity and sharing it with another person.
This research underscores the importance of understanding that coming out is a deeply personal and multifaceted process. It is a process that should be approached with care, thorough self-reflection, and professional guidance. Your family history and the societal expectations placed on you are just a few of the factors that can influence this process.
Remember, your transition and your coming out journey are valid, important, and unique to you. Take the time to understand your feelings, seek support through professionals, and make decisions that align with your well-being and happiness.