Navigating the Manipulative Narcissist: Understanding and Moving On
Dealing with a covert narcissist who claims she will always come back to you can be extremely emotionally draining. Such behavior is often a form of manipulation, designed to keep you on a emotional string and dependent on her for validation. Understanding this and taking the steps to move on is crucial for your personal growth and well-being.
Understanding the Narcissist's Motivation
When your ex-covert narcissist says she will always come back to you, it's important to recognize that she might be manipulating you. This statement is often a way to keep you tied to her, providing her with the security and safety net she craves. She wants to maintain a connection without fully committing to a genuine relationship. By doing this, she ensures that you stay within reach, hooked and waiting for her return.
The narcissist's behavior serves a dual purpose: she wants the freedom to be with others but also to rely on you for emotional support. She might even exploit your loyalty by using phrases like 'I realized how much you mean to me' or 'I’m in this forever this time.' These sayings are likely to make you feel guilty and excited, encouraging you to bend over backward for her. This kind of manipulation keeps you emotionally invested and less likely to move on, thus perpetuating a toxic cycle.
Recognizing the Permanence of Narcissistic Behavior
It's important to understand that narcissists do not change. Any promises or attempts at reconnection are likely to be superficial and false. If you continue to engage with her, you risk remaining stuck in a cycle of hurt and disappointment. Holding onto the hope that she will change only prolongs the pain. Instead, focus on your own growth and healing.
Seeking Expert Advice
To gain a better understanding of narcissism and how to deal with it, consider consulting experts in the field. Melanie Tonia Evans on Facebook and Thriver TV on YouTube offer valuable insights through free videos and blogs. They provide a wealth of information on identifying, handling, and recovering from narcissistic abuse. They also offer a healing program and have authored books on the topic. Other valuable resources include the work of clinical psychologist Doctor Ramani on YouTube and the book "Prepare to Be Tortured: The Price You Will Pay for Dating a Narcissist" by A.B. Jamieson available on Amazon.
Taking Action
To break free from manipulation and move on, it's crucial to cut off all contact with your ex and focus on your personal growth. Instead of chasing after someone who does not have your best interests at heart, invest your time and energy in building a healthy, supportive relationship with yourself and others. Seek out relationships that treat you with respect and equality, allowing you to flourish and grow.
Take the example of the author who took his ex back for six years, only to realize that time could never be recovered. By recognizing and addressing the manipulation, he was able to move on and find healthier, more fulfilling relationships. The lessons learned from this experience can serve as a valuable guide to others facing similar challenges.
In conclusion, dealing with a covert narcissist who promises to always come back is a difficult but necessary process. By understanding the psychology behind such behavior, seeking expert advice, and taking decisive action, you can break free from manipulation and find the happiness and fulfillment you deserve.