Why Does My Friend Say They Are Neurodivergent...
Have you ever encountered a situation where a friend claims to be neurodivergent but becomes irate or dismissive when you exhibit similar traits? It can be perplexing and frustrating. In addressing this issue, it's essential to delve into the complexities of neurodivergence, the dynamics of healthy friendships, and the importance of mutual respect. This article aims to provide clarity and guidance on these matters.
The Concept of Neurodivergence
Neurodivergence encompasses a wide range of neurological differences, including autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and more. People who identify as neurodivergent often possess unique strengths and challenges that may differ from those of the neurotypical population. However, it's important to note that identifying as neurodivergent involves more than simply exhibiting certain traits; it's a deeply personal and often clinically diagnosed journey.
My Experience with a Hypocritical Friend
For years, my friend claims to be neurodivergent, attributing her unique traits and behaviors to this identity. Yet, she often gets upset when I display similar characteristics, calling it "annoying." This behavior reveals that her understanding of neurodivergence is limited and, in many ways, contradictory. When faced with a friend who doesn't genuinely understand or respect the aspects of your identity, you must consider the nature of your relationship.
The Dangers of Hypocrisy in Friendship
Your friend's inconsistent behavior is indicative of hypocrisy, a term used when someone pretends to have a particular attitude or belief, yet behaves in a way that is inconsistent with that belief. By claiming to understand neurodivergence while disapproving of neurotypical behaviors, your friend is engaged in a form of lip service, a phrase that describes insincere talk or behavior. This kind of behavior is not only disrespectful but also damaging to your relationship.
Respect and Understanding in Healthy Friendships
A true friend respects and accepts the entirety of who you are, including your neurodivergent traits. Friends are there to support and uplift each other, offering a listening ear and a non-judgmental stance. If your friend persists in disrespecting and gaslighting you by contradicting her own beliefs, it's time to reassess the nature of your relationship. True friends should respect each other, and when disagreements occur, they should be based on valid and logical reasons, not on disrespectful and dismissive behavior.
Implications for Neurodivergent Individuals
It's important to recognize that neurodivergent individuals, like any other human beings, should not be subjected to prejudiced or dismissive attitudes. Labeling someone as neurodivergent does not absolve them of understanding and respecting the experiences and behaviors of others. Just as a neurotypical person should not assume that a neurodivergent friend is obligated to accept or condone harmful actions, neurodivergent individuals should also be careful not to equate understanding with toleration or approval. True understanding involves empathy, respect, and the willingness to engage in meaningful dialogue, not just a superficial acknowledgment of differences.
Conclusion
In summary, while it's important to recognize and embrace the unique aspects of neurodivergence, it's equally crucial to foster respectful and understanding relationships with others. When dealing with a friend who is hypocritical and ill-informed about neurodivergence, it's essential to set healthy boundaries and seek support from those who genuinely understand and respect your identity. Your journey as a neurodivergent individual is valid, and your friends should honor that validity by offering support and genuine understanding.
Final Thoughts
Remember, true friends support and respect each other, even when they have differing views. If your friend's behavior is inconsistent with these values, it may be time to consider whether you want to continue the relationship on similar terms. Building and maintaining healthy, respectful relationships is key to leading a fulfilling life, whether you identify as neurodivergent or neurotypical.