Subject vs Object Pronouns: When to Use 'She and Her Friends'

The choice between using 'she and her friends' or 'her and her friends' can often confuse native and non-native speakers alike. Understanding the distinctions can enhance your writing and spoken communication by making it more precise and grammatically correct.

Introduction

It is understandable why one might use a name to replace the first pronoun for clearer and more engaging communication. For example, saying, 'Marry and her friends,' can sound more natural and direct.

Common Usage

Most native English speakers tend to say, 'she and her friends,' and this is perfectly fine. The subject pronoun often gives way to the object dative case when the verb does not follow.

However, grammarians might argue that the more 'correct' way is to say, 'She and her friends...' Despite this, the informal variant is quite prevalent in everyday speech and writing.

Subject vs Object Pronouns

The key lies in the grammatical function of the pronoun. If the pronoun 'her' is the object, then it would be both grammatically correct and the norm to write 'her.'

For example:

We were talking to her and her friends.

It's important to note that some linguistic errors can arise from individuals feeling insecure about using the subject or object form. For instance, people might use the subject pronoun ('I') in a situation where the object form is more appropriate to seem more 'refined' or 'eloquent.' This can lead to mistakes such as:

My dad told my sister and I to be careful.

Connective Choices

When using 'her and her friends,' the context is paramount. For instance:

I saw her and her friends in the pie shop.

Alternatively, you might choose: I saw her with her friends. This phrase is ideal if it is clear that they are together. However, if she left and her friends stayed, 'with her friends' might not accurately represent the situation.

In cases where the friends' presence is irrelevant to the main subject (Alice in this example), it is better to say:

Maybe I saw her and her friends is entirely appropriate yes.

Example Sentences

Depending on the context, both forms can be correct. Here are two examples to illustrate:

I saw her and her friend at the bar.

She and her friends went snorkeling.

In the first sentence, the woman in question is the object of the verb 'saw,' making 'her' the appropriate pronoun. In the second sentence, the woman is the subject, thus 'she' should be used.

The general rule of thumb is:

Never use 'her' as a subject pronoun. Never use 'she' as the object pronoun.

For a more comprehensive understanding, you can refer to additional resources, such as the one linked here.