The Bullies of High School: How Time Heals and Revenge Isn’t the Answer
Has anyone ever experienced the wrath of high school bullies? I was part of a group of geeks and nerds in high school who often faced the antagonism of our peers. Although the bullies were mostly emotional rather than physical, their actions left lasting scars. Time has shown that these experiences often shape our paths in life in unexpected ways.
A Decade Later: The Reality of Reunion
At our high school reunion ten years later, social media had not yet taken over, and we decided to reconnect with old friends and former bullies. The results were eye-opening. The bullies, now over 18, were stuck in dead-end jobs, driving old cars, and married to the cheerleaders and football players. However, they were still living in the past, reliving their own glory days. In contrast, the geeks and nerds had grown and flourished, with many of us succeeding in various fields and looking forward to future accomplishments.
Lessons in Personal Growth
Revenge isn't the solution when bullied. My bully, although aware that she lost the battle, cannot find a job, not even as a counter girl. This outcome was a direct result of my actions years ago, teaching her a valuable lesson. Being a quiet and socially awkward kid, I was known for my physical strength and resilience. Once I confrontationally put one bully boy in the hospital with a broken jaw, the bullying ceased.
Dealing with Verbal Abuse
There was one bully in particular who tormented me daily: Bully Bruce. His grandfather was a successful businessman in the county, and Bruce was best friends with another bully named Jack. They were backed by a group of minions who were equally destructive. Tumbling through years of verbal abuse, I discovered that actions spoke louder than words. When I found myself on the brink of violence, physically and verbally confronting the teacher in a moment of frustration, the outcome was a lesson in not letting bullies define us.
Aftermath and Reflection
My mother received a call two weeks later from Bruce's mother, asking what had transpired, as Bruce was deeply upset when he came home. Our parents and grandparents always told us to ignore the bullies, saying they were just teasing us, but they would tease us if they didn't like us. This advice was misguided and only perpetuated the pain. Forty-six years later, I am still reflecting on how to deal with bullies and have even elaborated on my thoughts through fictional murder mystery outlines, which are the basis of future books. Thoughts, wishes, and plans for revenge aren't arrestable, but understanding that words have real consequences on people's lives is crucial.
Instead of seeking revenge, it is better to let these bullies live in physical pain and suffering for the rest of their lives. They have already lost so much, and their actions have shaped their futures in negative ways. Public humiliation and social exclusion can be powerful tools to make bullies reconsider their behavior.
As we grow older, we realize that the aftermath of bullying can be as painful as the experience itself. Understanding the power of words and actions is essential to overcome and heal from such traumas. Let us choose to rise above the pain of the past and focus on a better future.