The Dilemma of Boarding Schools for Bad Behavior: A Parent’s Perspective

Parents often face the difficult decision of whether to send their child to a boarding school due to persistent bad behavior in a regular school setting. This decision can be a significant turning point, impacting numerous aspects of the child's life. Here, we explore the considerations involved and why a boarding school should be viewed as the last resort.

Understanding the Roots of Bad Behavior

When a child exhibits bad behavior at school, it is crucial to investigate the underlying causes. Teachers and parents must work together to find the root of the problem. Common issues include: Medical or mental health issues Bullying Problems at home Medical or mental health conditions, such as ADHD or behavioral disorders, can manifest in disruptive behavior. Bullying from peers can also contribute to a child's negative behavior, while family environments that lack support or understanding can exacerbate the situation.

Why Boarding School Should Be the Last Resort

Sending a child to a boarding school should not be seen as a quick fix or a way to avoid dealing with the issue at hand. Instead, it is important to address the root causes of the behavior through open communication and support. Forcing a child into a more structured environment without addressing these underlying issues can lead to further stress and may not provide the desired improvements in behavior.

Parental Involvement and Interventions

While parental involvement is not always ideal, in many cases, it remains essential for addressing a child's bad behavior. A parent's role involves understanding the problem and seeking appropriate solutions. Interventions such as:

Attending school meetings and discussions Taking the child to school for a day (as one parent did in a similar situation) Setting clear boundaries and expectations at home and school Addressing any personal or family issues that might be contributing to the behavior

These actions can help a child understand the importance of behavior and how it impacts their relationships and academic success.

Personal Experience: Lessons from a Boarding School

Reflecting on personal experiences, many argue that a boarding school can be a negative experience, especially for younger children. For instance, sending a 7-year-old son to a boarding school due to bad behavior at the normal school may not be the best approach. A personal account from someone who was sent to a boarding school for similar reasons highlights several potential negative outcomes:

Impact on Parent-Child Relationship: The child may lose respect for the parent due to the perceived abandonment. In the case of the writer, they developed a strained relationship with their mother, feeling that she had deserted them. Academic Performance: Boarding schools may focus more on discipline than academics, potentially leading to lower academic achievements during the child's early years. The writer's academic success was achieved after leaving the school. Social and Emotional Development: Living away from home and close-knit support networks can negatively affect the child's mental and emotional well-being. The child might struggle with feelings of isolation and may take years to overcome the negative effects of being away from family. Behavioral Issues: The structured environment might not address the root cause of bad behavior, and younger children may suffer more in such an intimidating environment.

Based on these experiences, it is advisable to thoroughly investigate and address the root causes of bad behavior before considering a highly restrictive and potentially distressing solution like a boarding school.

Conclusion

Boarding school can be a drastic and inappropriate step in addressing bad behavior at the normal school. By exploring the underlying causes, involving parents, and seeking appropriate interventions, it is often possible to improve a child's behavior without the need for such an extreme measure. It is crucial to prioritize the well-being, family relationships, and overall development of the child over a temporary expedient solution.