The Most Memorable Substitute Teachers: Tales from the Classroom

Who Was the Worst Substitute Teacher You’ve Ever Had?

As a seasoned substitute teacher, I have experienced a wide array of memorable moments in the classroom. However, there were a few who left a particularly strong impression. One of them, Mr. Simon, was an enigma wrapped in a tale.

Old Mr. Simon was not much of a subject expert, but oh how he could spin a tale! He was a master story teller and certainly entertained us with his imaginative narratives. One time, he claimed to have invented the one-handed basketball jump shot, and another time, he recounted a harrowing experience of delivering the news of a soldier’s death to a grieving wife. But one incident truly paid the price for his charm.

A few days before the school year ended, a student with a progressing seizure disorder was admitted for brain surgery. She approached Mr. Simon and nervously asked if she was going to die. This was my most harrowing experience as a long-term substitute in a second grade class.

While I have not faced any particularly bad substitute experiences myself, my tenure as a teacher was always well prepared. I frequently received notes from my peers, expressing that I was "granted a place in heaven."

As a substitute, one incident stands out vividly in my memory. It happened in the middle of winter, during a sixth-grade math class. I was taking attendance and calling out the names as listed on a provided sheet, which I showed to the class at the beginning of the day. After a couple of rounds, no response came from one student. Despite recounting the name multiple times, I encountered no answer. This time, however, the issue was not just a matter of mispronunciation.

With a class of 30 students, I said, 'If this student does not respond to their name, I will mark them absent,' and the tension was palpable. A young sixth grader stated, 'You f------ bitch, ugly old white woman. I don’t need to answer to any old f------ white bitch.’ His harsh words deflated the classroom. Despite the effort of the principal to convince me to stay, I immediately contacted the office and requested a replacement, leaving for home.

That experience taught me the absolute importance of classroom control and how quickly things can go awry in the absence of a regular teacher. The school, which consistently requests subs, faces challenges in filling positions for these critical roles.