Introduction

Within the complex and often toxic dynamics of a narcissistic family setting, the roles of the golden child and the scapegoat play a crucial and sometimes unspoken part. This article explores why golden children might mimic the appearance and behavior of scapegoats, examining the psychological underpinnings and the subtle power dynamics at play. We’ll also delve into why these imitations might occur, based on both envy and a subconscious rebellion against the narcissistic mother.

Envy and Subconscious Rebellion

Golden children, often prized and admired, can harbor deep-seated jealousy and envy towards their scapegoat siblings. This phenomenon is especially true when the scapegoat is perceived as strong, resilient, and daring. In my personal experience, my golden child cousin, who is worldly successful but afraid to stand up to their narcissistic mother, envied herscapegoat sisters for daring to break free and live their lives as they saw fit.

During a moment of vulnerability, my narcissistic golden child cousin confessed to my youngest sister that she was envious of us. This confession reveals that the golden child's imitation of the scapegoat's appearance can be a form of subtle rebellion against the narcissistic mother. The golden child seeks to reclaim some of the attention and validation they may have lost, or are afraid of losing, by adopting the traits and appearance of the scapegoat.

Parental Inheritance of Parental Perception

Golden children are often taught from a very young age that the scapegoat is defective and undesirable. This conditioning can be so ingrained that it shapes their perception of the scapegoat. Scapegoats are often deemed responsible for the family's negative events, whether real or perceived. The golden children can internalize this narrative, believing that the scapegoat is the root of the family's troubles.

In my family, the scapegoat was often the target of manufactured tales and lies. These harmful stories were spread through various means—some as subtle as whispered rumors, and others more overt, such as the "flying monkeys" metaphor. The golden child, part of a family that venerates the golden child's achievements and accomplishments, can perceive the scapegoat's resilience and success as a threat. This threat can manifest in the form of jealousy, which might drive the golden child to adopt the appearance and behavior of the scapegoat.

Influence of Appearance

Another plausible reason for golden children to imitate scapegoats is the perception that the scapegoat is more attractive. The golden child, driven by envy, might seek to enhance their appearance to compete with or surpass the scapegoat. This physical imitation is a way to assert their worth and attention in a family context where they are often the focus of admiration and approval.

This pursuit of greater beauty can be seen in the golden child's quest to outshine their scapegoat sibling. The motivation is not only to appear better but also to reclaim a sense of worth and validation, which they may have lost due to the scapegoat's resilience and success.

Conclusion

The psychological dynamics within a familial unit can be profoundly influenced by the roles of golden and scapegoat children. The golden child's imitation of the scapegoat can be a complex interplay of envy and a subconscious rebellion. By understanding these dynamics, we can gain insights into the behaviors and motivations of individuals within a family. It is crucial to recognize and address these issues when they arise, promoting a healthier and more balanced family environment.