Can a Self-Aware Narcissist or Any Narcissist Know They Are Selfish?

When it comes to self-aware narcissists and narcissists in general, the question often arises: do they truly know their behaviors and their impact on others? The answer is complex and requires a deeper understanding of the dynamics at play.

The Discrepancy Between Knowledge and Belief

Narcissists, whether they are self-aware or not, are often entitled, selfish, and unreasonable. They often feel that others should serve their needs, and if those needs are not met, they can become wrathful. Many narcissists are aware of their harmful behaviors, but they rationalize, defend, or project those behaviors onto others. This projection can make them believe that the fault lies elsewhere, including with their targets or even with society as a whole.

A Matter of Self-Entitlement and Victimhood

It is crucial to understand that narcissists often feel entitled to special treatment, viewing themselves as deserving of privileges that others do not. This entitlement can stem from a deep-seated belief that the world owes them something. They may try to justify their selfish behaviors by claiming that they are victims, often blaming their targets or the wider environment for their perceived grievances.

Multiple Facets of a Narcissist’s Behavior

Based on the experiences and insights shared by many, there are a few key points to consider regarding the self-awareness of narcissists:

Belief in Own Innocence: Some narcissists vehemently believe that they are not responsible for their actions and that their behaviors are justified. They may argue that their targets are the ones at fault, using gaslighting and manipulation to deflect blame. No Sense of Remorse: Narcissists often lack the capacity for genuine remorse or regret, leading them to continue their harmful behaviors without any internal struggle. Justification of Ruin: Over time, some narcissists start to believe their narratives, convinced that the people around them are deserving of such treatment. This conversion can make them feel justified in their actions, even if it results in serious damage to the lives of their targets. Manipulative Justification: Narcissists frequently use manipulation and psychological tactics to control and undermine their targets, often justifying their actions by labeling their victims as “incompetent” or “unworthy.”

The Gaslighting and Manipulative Cycle

The gaslighting and manipulative cycles that narcissists employ are often deeply ingrained in their behavior. These tactics are not just one-time occurrences but are part of a larger pattern of control and manipulation.

Building Up and Then Tear Down: Narcissists often start by building their targets up, grooming them into believing in the relationship's potential. Once their trust is established, they will then systematically tear their targets down, often leaving them questioning their own sanity. Psychological Boundaries: Narcissists use psychological manipulation to push their targets' boundaries, often causing emotional distress and confusion. Victim Blaming: In the end, many narcissists will shift the blame onto their targets, asserting that the targets' behavior justifies the narcissist's actions. This is a common tactic used to maintain control and avoid confrontation.

Understanding Their Behavior

To truly understand the actions of a narcissist, it is important to recognize that they are often motivated by a need for control and validation. They project their insecurities and hatred onto others, leading them to believe that they are in the right and that their actions are justified.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while narcissists may know that they are being manipulative and selfish, their sense of entitlement and lack of remorse often lead them to rationalize their actions and place the blame on others. Understanding these complex dynamics is crucial for developing a comprehensive approach to dealing with narcissistic behaviors.