Introduction

Why does a narcissist hate the scapegoat most, especially if the scapegoat is the one who treated them the best and is also the most successful? The answer lies in the dynamics of toxicity and survival in early life, as well as the manipulative nature of a narcissist.

The Scapegoat’s Success

It is not surprising that the scapegoat is the one who succeeds the most. Life has shown us that in a nurturing environment, children learn how to survive and thrive. If the scapegoat is a young individual, they are programmed to seek independence and prove everyone wrong. They will not only excel but continue to excel throughout their life, regardless of obstacles.

The Toxic Cycle of Pleasing Others

Those who constantly please others are often victims of toxic dynamics. The approach taken by a narcissist is toxic because it fosters a dependency on validating behavior from others. True love and respect come from within, not from the external validation of a narcissist.

Repeating the cycle of pleasing others is harmful. Instead, individuals should focus on self-worth and self-care. Only those with a truly nurturing environment can receive genuine love and respect. Those with nothing to give cannot provide a sustainable relationship or life experience.

The Golden Child and the Scapegoat

The dynamics of a golden child and a scapegoat are equally toxic. A golden child is often favored and protected, but they never fully receive the love they need. Conversely, a scapegoat is often subjected to undue blame and pressure. Both roles are manipulative and exploitative. The manipulation extends beyond the family to encompass the broader psychological landscape of the scapegoat’s life.

Envy and Resentment

Envy and resentment drive the actions of a narcissist. When a person or a child achieves success, a narcissist cannot accept this. They become jealous, often manifesting this jealousy through verbal snarkiness or manipulative behaviors. For example, in the case of the author's ex-narcissist, envy led to snide remarks even when the author felt good about their own progress.

When a woman loses weight and starts a successful business, her husband may resent her for her new independence and beauty, leading to a breakup or divorce. This pattern of behavior is common among narcissists and highlights the destructive nature of their envy.

Survival and Independence

The struggle for survival and independence is a fundamental aspect of life, especially for children who learn early on that pleasing others is not a sustainable path. Those who achieve independence and success do so by breaking free from the toxic patterns imposed upon them.

Strategizing and Manipulation

Narcissists are strategic and manipulative. They play the game of life like a chessboard, quick to make moves that benefit them without regard for the impacts on others. This behavior stems from their lack of empathy and genuine connection. Instead of building positive, healthy relationships, they prioritize their own gain.

To avoid falling into these toxic patterns, individuals must seek self-awareness and form strong boundaries. Understanding the dynamics of toxic relationships, such as those involving narcissists, is crucial for setting healthy boundaries and fostering genuine connections.

Conclusion: Life is indeed strange, but understanding and recognizing toxic behaviors are the first steps towards a healthier and more fulfilling life. By breaking free from these dynamic traps, individuals can create a path towards true independence, success, and authentic love.