Why Do My Memories Feel Unfamiliar?

Once upon a time, memories were like recordings of past experiences or events. They were seen as reliable artifacts of the past, and often I would get into heated exchanges with friends or family who had a different memory of the same event or experience. However, my perception of my own memory started to change. It didn’t seem as sharp and clear. Details of events that I had previously remembered very clearly seemed fuzzy and faded. I wasn’t as emotionally invested in my memories and lost the desire to defend them when others shared a different perspective of a shared experience.

Memories: A Relational Construct

I began to experience memories as if I was watching a character in a movie - it was me, but a different version of me with different thoughts, ideas, and responses. The action was interesting, but I wasn’t as emotionally attached to the story anymore. The changes taking place in my life seemed to influence how I perceived past experiences.

Compassionate Insights Through Interpersonal Communication

Then, I had a conversation with my son that shifted my whole perspective on memory. We were talking about an experience from his childhood. He had a small growth on his skin that kept getting scratched open, which was referred to a dermatologist. During the procedure, he cried loudly and could not be consoled. As we left the office, he continued to cry loudly, which attracted nearby people. I felt helpless to relieve his pain or make him feel better. The experience left us both a little traumatized. Over a decade later, I remember the growth being on his face, just under his bottom lip. He remembers the growth being on his wrist. We each have different memories of the same event, and I suppose I can only trust my own account.

Exploring the Nature of Memory

This conversation with my son got me thinking about the nature of memory. As humans, we can imagine all kinds of things both when we are awake and when we dream at night. But how do we know if any of this is real? It often appears in our minds to be just as vivid and real as anything else we experience.

Memory vs. Imagination

So, what is memory and how is it different from imagination? Is it part remembrance and part imagination? Is it simply our perception of a past event that changes as our perspective changes? How do we know if a memory is ours? Can we create memories out of stories we have heard over and over until we believe they are our own experiences? Can we get so distant from an experience that the memory no longer feels like it is ours? What is the purpose of memory anyway?

Embracing the Fluidity of Perception

These many questions to explore. But back to your original question: Why do my memories feel like they aren’t mine? Now that I really think about it, I suppose only you can answer that one. However, I will offer one bit of advice: reality - or what we call reality - is much less solid and defined than we have been led to believe. Don’t be so quick to believe everything you think and everything you remember. Stay open to the possibility that things are not as they appear.

The Wondrous Universe and Human Imagination

The universe is a wondrous place, and so is human imagination. How we perceive and remember events can be fluid and change as our perspective evolves. Understanding the relationship between memory, imagination, and perception can lead to a more nuanced understanding of our experiences and the world around us.