Why Rewarding Good Behavior in Children Might Not Be Ideal

The concept that good behavior by children should not always be rewarded is rooted in several arguments. This article delves into these points, examining the implications of a reward-based approach and the benefits of fostering intrinsic motivation. We will explore various viewpoints, including the development of self-regulation, the focus on process over outcome, and the importance of setting behavioral expectations.

Intrinsic Motivation

One of the primary arguments against rewarding good behavior in children is the potential to undermine intrinsic motivation. When children are rewarded for good behavior, they might come to see these actions as a means to an end rather than a value in itself. This shift can lead to a reliance on external rewards, which can diminish their genuine understanding of why good behavior is important.

Expectations of Reward

The expectation of rewards can also be problematic. When children begin to associate good behavior with receiving a prize, they might be less inclined to exhibit such behaviors unless assured of a reward. This mindset can foster a transactional approach, where the focus is on receiving something in return rather than the intrinsic value of the behavior itself. This can create a short-term mindset that might not lead to lasting changes in behavior.

Short-term vs. Long-term Behavior

Rewards often result in short-term compliance rather than long-term behavioral change. Children might comply with rules or expectations only when they receive a reward, but once the rewards are removed, undesirable behaviors might resurface. Encouraging good behavior without the need for constant external validation can help children develop a sense of responsibility and self-regulation over the long term.

Equity and Fairness

While rewards can be effective in certain situations, inconsistencies in their application can lead to feelings of unfairness and resentment among children. If rewards are perceived as arbitrary or biased, it can negatively impact the classroom or family dynamic. Establishing clear and consistent expectations can help prevent these issues and ensure a fair environment for all children.

Development of Self-Regulation

Encouraging children to behave well without relying on external rewards can strengthen their self-regulation skills. By focusing on social norms and personal values, children learn to manage their behavior based on these internal guidance mechanisms. This approach helps them develop a sense of responsibility and self-awareness, essential qualities for long-term success.

Focus on Process Over Outcome

Fostering intrinsic motivation also involves emphasizing the importance of the process over the outcome. Children should understand the impact of their actions on others and develop empathy through consistent positive behavior. Rewarding good behavior can sometimes detract from this focus, as the attention is often redirected to the reward rather than the behavior itself.

Behavioral Expectations

Children need to learn that certain behaviors are expected and are part of social norms and responsibilities. When these behaviors are rewarded, it might give the impression that they are optional rather than essential. Setting clear expectations can help children understand the importance of adhering to social norms, even in the absence of external rewards.

While there are valid points against rewarding good behavior, it's also important to recognize that positive reinforcement can be beneficial in specific contexts, especially when encouraging new behaviors or skills. The key is to strike a balanced approach that fosters intrinsic motivation and meaningfully acknowledges positive behavior.

By striking this balance, educators and parents can help children develop a deeper understanding of the importance of good behavior, leading to more sustainable and long-lasting changes in behavior and a sense of fulfillment that comes from acting genuinely rather than just for rewards.