Why Schools Discourage Fighting Back: Self-Defense and School Policies

While the instinct to fight back during a self-defense situation may be strong, schools often discourage this behavior. This article explores the reasons behind this policy and provides insights from a parent's perspective who faced a similar situation with their child being bullied in high school.

Safety Concerns

Schools prioritize the safety of all students. Encouraging fights under the guise of self-defense can easily escalate situations, potentially leading to more serious injuries. As a parent, it is important to understand that school administrators are not in the business of dealing with the consequences of physical altercations. They are focused on maintaining a safe and secure environment where learning can thrive.

Zero-Tolerance Policies and Legal Liability

Many schools have strict zero-tolerance policies regarding violence. These policies aim to create a zero-tolerance culture, ensuring that any fighting, even if it's in self-defense, is met with disciplinary action. While this approach is well-intentioned, it can sometimes result in students facing harsh consequences that do not take into account the context or circumstances of the incident.

Another reason schools discourage fighting is to avoid legal liability. If they are perceived to have allowed violence on their premises, they can face lawsuits. By strictly enforcing a no-fighting policy, schools aim to protect themselves from such lawsuits and the resulting negative publicity.

Conflict Resolution and Communication Skills

Schools emphasize the importance of conflict resolution and communication skills as alternative approaches to physical confrontations. They encourage students to seek help from adults or mediators instead of resorting to violence. This focus on non-violent solutions helps maintain order and discipline within the school environment.

A Parent's Perspective: Addressing Bullying and Taking Action

When my youngest son was viciously bullied throughout his freshman year in high school, the situation was alarming. Despite multiple attempts to address the issue, the school administration seemed unresponsive. It wasn't until I took a more aggressive stance and informed my son that he was allowed to defend himself that we saw a change.

I made it clear that if he ever felt physically threatened, he was allowed to fight back as aggressively as necessary to ensure his safety. This approach, however, was not tested as the school closed due to the outbreak of COVID-19, preventing any physical contact from occurring.

Despite the lack of a physical altercation, the situation did not improve. One of his teachers attempted to shift the blame onto my son, which was a direct result of her failure to address the bullying. I confronted her, and she expressed shock at the continued bullying, a reaction that was more a result of her own inaction rather than genuine concern.

I further threatened to involve my lawyer and the state Department of Education if the situation did not improve, although the prolonged school closure due to the pandemic again prevented this from happening.

Despite the rapid resolution of the bullying due to the school closures, I will never forget how surprised the teacher was when I explained that my son was depressed in class because he had a horrible school experience, and it was the fault of the faculty and administration. This incident highlighted the importance of proactive measures and the need for schools to take accountability for their students' well-being.

Conclusion: While promoting non-violent solutions may seem overly simplistic, schools understand that long-term conflict resolution and community safety are better served by instilling these values in their students. It is important for parents and educators to work together to create a supportive and safe environment that encourages communication and conflict resolution.