Why Self-Mastery Remains Elusive Despite Its Apparent Achievability
Considering that many leading philosophers and thinkers view self-mastery as the pinnacle of human achievement, it is puzzling to observe the widespread external focus and the apparent lack of self-awareness in many individuals. This discrepancy highlights a critical question: if self-mastery is truly the highest achievement, why do we continue to look outward?
Unwillingness to Embrace Self-Awareness
The simple answer lies in a combination of psychological and societal factors. Many people remain unaware of the importance of self-mastery, let alone its supreme value. Our natural inclination is to focus on appeasing, pleasing, or gaining the acceptance and attention of others. This external orientation is often a learned behavior, perpetuated by parental expectations and societal norms. Parents who prioritize the appeasement and attention of their children contribute to a cycle of external validation, which can be difficult to break.
The Appeal of Escapism
Another significant reason why self-mastery remains elusive is the ease with which we can escape introspection. Introspection can be challenging and uncomfortable, especially when it reveals the true self hidden behind a well-crafted facade. It is easier to blame external circumstances or others for our perceived shortcomings. This phenomenon, known as escapism, allows us to avoid the difficult task of self-exploration and instead focus our attention on external stimuli.
Novelty and External Rewards
The appeal of external focus can also be attributed to the perceived novelty and immediate rewards of acting outwards rather than inward. What transpires within us is reflected in our outward behavior, making it visible to others. For instance, the decisions we make, the actions we take, and the values we hold are all external manifestations of our inner thoughts and ideas. However, the inner world is vastly more complex and less visible, hence less appealing when compared to the tangible and measurable outcomes of our external actions.
Psychological Freedom and External Needs
Psychological freedom, which entails self-understanding and the development of elements such as self-confidence and self-esteem, ultimately leads to mental resilience. While these inner qualities are essential, they often do not translate into immediate practical benefits. Consequently, external achievements such as financial security, social status, or physical safety are often prioritized over the pursuit of self-mastery. For example, the urgency to defend ourselves against external threats or the necessity to secure basic needs like food and shelter often overshadow the internal need for self-understanding and growth.
The Necessity of Others and Society
It is important to acknowledge that even as individuals strive for self-mastery, they are inherently part of a larger society. Society shapes and influences us at various levels, and our sense of individuality is inextricably linked to our social context. No matter how much we seek todetach ourselves from societal expectations, we still need others and the community. This duality means that our actions, whether mental or practical, are interconnected with the external world, making the pursuit of self-mastery a complex and ongoing process.
Challenges in Achieving Self-Mastery
Self-mastery requires a deep level of introspection and self-understanding. However, the practical benefits of such introspection might not be immediately apparent, leading to skepticism and resistance. Consider the scenario of a person who has devoted decades to meditation and self-awareness. Though they may be able to navigate conflict calmly and effectively, others may not see the value in this on-the-spot application of their skills, as the long-term benefits take years to develop. This can lead to a cycle where the potential for self-mastery is dismissed as a mere indulgence or a distant dream rather than a practical necessity.
Ultimately, the external focus and societal pressures make self-mastery seem unreachable to many. The path to achieving self-mastery involves a willingness to confront one's true self and the challenges of inner growth. Only by recognizing the value of self-mastery and its role in our overall fulfillment can individuals break free from the cycle of external validation and embrace the quest for true self-mastery.